sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
