Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
