yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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