He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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