You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
