remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
