I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I'm passing your future prison.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
