tell your sister to shave her snatch
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
