Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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