my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
