the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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