the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
