What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
