That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
