fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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