Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
