thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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