But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
