you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
