Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.

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(469): View more from Texas

I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.

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(630): View more from Illinois

You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop

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(703): View more from Virginia

Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country

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(513): View more from Ohio

he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.

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(407): View more from Florida

Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.

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