Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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