you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
