some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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