Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
