This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
