My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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