this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
