y did u give ur computer a hand job?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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