I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
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Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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