in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
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just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
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I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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