apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So vagazzling was a success
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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