You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
