I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
