I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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