This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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