Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
