Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
what day is it and did you see me today?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
