There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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