You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
vagina is talking i cant
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
