Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
