Only a mothe r could love this liver
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
