just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I need water and some morals
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
