Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
