Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
