if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
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BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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