My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
