i already hear my dad disowning me
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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