Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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