Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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