just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
