It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
