i permit you to call me
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
