So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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