Pants 0. Shit 1.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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