dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
