i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
FUCK WHALES
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
