I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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