i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
