It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
only if we run a train.
done.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
