Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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