I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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