Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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