I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
