I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
