Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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