we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
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Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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